It's kind of tough being on the fence about everything. On the one hand there's still a chance for me to be with my ex although that is very slim. On the other, there's a few guys that want to take me out on dates. I'm so hesitant to do anything at this moment. I'm kind of holding myself back because I'm still holding out for hope.
It may be stupid of me but he won't tell me straight out what his decision is. He'll tell me that he did wrong, that I'm clearly the better choice, etc, but he won't come straight out and say he wants to be with me. That's what makes me the most upset about this whole situation. If I am the better choice like he says that I am then shouldn't it be clear that he should choose me?
I just can't believe that he hasn't made up his mind yet. I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm tired of it. I do truly want to be with him, but I don't want to wait on him for a year for him to make up his mind. He wants nothing to do with that girl he's supposed to get married to. He showed me a picture of her and even said that I was much prettier than her!
I just don't get it! He still wants to spend Valentine's Day with me too. I don't see why he doesn't want to spend it with the girl he's supposed to be marrying. It doesn't make any sense. Right now, he just keeps saying that he's single because his parents haven't made the engagement official so right there he's saying that I may still have a chance.
He was supposed to go to Pakistan today but his mother is coming to visit him in about 2 weeks so his dad doesn't want to spend that kind of money. So I guess he's going to talk to his mom and then they're going to talk to his dad on Skype? He basically already told me that his dad will probably give the decision to him.
I don't know what to think. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being toyed with by him about all this. I hate that I feel this way but he won't be straight up with me about anything at all.
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