It's been a little hard for me today to accept people's logic. I'm still stuck on how people with a monotheistic faith want to judge me and other polytheistic people. I'm not here to please anyone with how I live my life.
I volunteer at a hospital, I give to charity, I heal others, I teach children how to read and do math, and I'm the one going to hell?
So who made you God for a day and gave you the right to judge who I am? I don't do volunteer work and give to charity thinking that God will bless me. I do it out of the goodness of my heart. I'm the one who will give a homeless person all the cash out of my wallet when they ask. I've done that at three different times that I can think of recently. I give them much more than a dollar.
I don't size them up and think they're just going to buy booze with it. I don't tell them to get a job and walk by. I don't preach to them and tell them God will heal their suffering and to just believe in Him and everything will be okay.
That guy is hungry! He can't eat your words or wait for God to throw a sandwich down from the sky! Help him, damn it!
If anything that's an opportunity to show God or whoever you worship that you're a good person!
No one will know what the truth is until they die. If I die tonight and wake up in Hell then I'll admit I'm wrong, but until then don't tell me how to live my life because I don't tell anyone how to live theirs. If you have a problem with my religion then you don't have to speak to me or even be around me.
You have faith in your religion and I have faith in mine. However, I think everyone has a path to follow that is the right one for them. That's the difference between you and me. I don't hate everyone who isn't like me. I accept everyone for who they are because we are all different and deserve the same respect.
I even go to church every now and then. I actually enjoy some of the services because they teach good lessons and morals which happen to be in my religion as well.
Yes. I infiltrate your church and I know your teachings. Maybe you should learn mine. You may be surprised that we're not so different, you and I.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Burnt Mushrooms
Yesterday was a date night with a man I've been seeing for about a year and a half. Although I don't consider us together in a boyfriend/girlfriend sense anymore, I do still have feelings for him. We've been trying to make our relationship work out and strengthen it.
When I first met him he was great! There were no worries. After we became an official couple, however, I started noticing some changes in attitude. He's stubborn, selfish, and prideful. Nothing that I can't handle mind you. I can be those things as well at times.
The reason I sort of called it off and suggested that we start over anew was because I started to feel a little cheated. He would flirt with other girls online, tell me I needed to hit the gym more often, and wouldn't tell anyone about us, family, friends, or his internet girls. I understood why he didn't tell his family about us.
He's a Muslim and being with me would cause a lot of ruckus. His parents, whom I have never met, don't like me. It has nothing to do with my religion since that was never mentioned to them but everything to do with me being a white American woman. Of course, none of that bothered me considering he's not the kind of man I would marry anyway. I'm too young to even think about marriage at this point in my life.
What upset me the most is that he felt like he had to hide our relationship from complete strangers who also happened to be white American girls. Plus there was that time that he skipped out on my Father's wedding and that hit a whole different level of resentment.
Anyway, last night he came over to have an Italian meal with me which was supposed to consist of stuffed mushrooms, basil-tomato grilled cheese, and broccoli cheese tortellini. However, he was talking to me about my religion at the time and I burned the stuffed mushrooms because I forgot they were in the oven.
He came into the kitchen saying he wanted to talk to me about something. I thought since we were having a romantic dinner he would tell me how beautiful I was, how much he loved me, something other than what he actually wanted to talk about.
Basically, (and I'm para-phrasing here) he said that he didn't like my religion because I worship both a God and a Goddess and that was a huge sin because there's only one God. He said he wanted me to try Christianity instead.
...
I was taken aback! I thought he had accepted me for who I am!
I didn't say anything for a long time because I didn't know how to respond. Thinking that I could maybe compromise I told him about some Dianic Sects of Wicca which believe in just a Goddess and not a God. That's one God right?
When I told him about that he was like I don't know. It needs to be a God. I just said a Goddess is a God, just the female version. Then he was like I don't think that counts; they always say God. So apparently "God" has to be a male in any scenario which I just don't agree with.
I should just start saying I worship a higher power or "It". Then It can be either/or.
Or a hermaphrodite.
When I first met him he was great! There were no worries. After we became an official couple, however, I started noticing some changes in attitude. He's stubborn, selfish, and prideful. Nothing that I can't handle mind you. I can be those things as well at times.
The reason I sort of called it off and suggested that we start over anew was because I started to feel a little cheated. He would flirt with other girls online, tell me I needed to hit the gym more often, and wouldn't tell anyone about us, family, friends, or his internet girls. I understood why he didn't tell his family about us.
He's a Muslim and being with me would cause a lot of ruckus. His parents, whom I have never met, don't like me. It has nothing to do with my religion since that was never mentioned to them but everything to do with me being a white American woman. Of course, none of that bothered me considering he's not the kind of man I would marry anyway. I'm too young to even think about marriage at this point in my life.
What upset me the most is that he felt like he had to hide our relationship from complete strangers who also happened to be white American girls. Plus there was that time that he skipped out on my Father's wedding and that hit a whole different level of resentment.
Anyway, last night he came over to have an Italian meal with me which was supposed to consist of stuffed mushrooms, basil-tomato grilled cheese, and broccoli cheese tortellini. However, he was talking to me about my religion at the time and I burned the stuffed mushrooms because I forgot they were in the oven.
He came into the kitchen saying he wanted to talk to me about something. I thought since we were having a romantic dinner he would tell me how beautiful I was, how much he loved me, something other than what he actually wanted to talk about.
Basically, (and I'm para-phrasing here) he said that he didn't like my religion because I worship both a God and a Goddess and that was a huge sin because there's only one God. He said he wanted me to try Christianity instead.
...
I was taken aback! I thought he had accepted me for who I am!
I didn't say anything for a long time because I didn't know how to respond. Thinking that I could maybe compromise I told him about some Dianic Sects of Wicca which believe in just a Goddess and not a God. That's one God right?
When I told him about that he was like I don't know. It needs to be a God. I just said a Goddess is a God, just the female version. Then he was like I don't think that counts; they always say God. So apparently "God" has to be a male in any scenario which I just don't agree with.
I should just start saying I worship a higher power or "It". Then It can be either/or.
Or a hermaphrodite.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Relaxation and Enlightenment
I've had such a long day and a very brutal physics test that I had to endure. It should be considered a crime giving a Friday exam. Hopefully, I didn't do as bad as I think I did. Now that it's over I can sit back and relax for a bit tonight before getting back to some school work that needs to get done this weekend. My days really never end.
What I like to do to relax is Yoga and Meditation. Usually I do Power Yoga once a week at my college. My roommates and I started going together last year and it's always been a favorite thing for us to do. Power Yoga is a little more difficult and intense than just plain ol' Yoga. It's more physically demanding of the body and takes more focus and balance.
By the middle of the hour session, sweat literally starts to drip from my forehead to the mat. The sweat is not all from the physical demand but also from the mental strain of it. After the session I feel so loose, relaxed, and enlightened.
Some of my favorite poses in Yoga are the Child Pose, Tree Pose, Downward Facing Dog, and Upward Facing Dog. These poses are very basic but I like their simplicity. I feel like I can meditate while I'm in these poses and release my energy from my Chakras throughout my body. I love the feeling it gives me.
In Meditation I normally use the Lotus Position which is traditional. I rest my hands on my knees instead of place them in front of my chest in a prayer like way. During Meditation I enter into what I like to call my place of power. I go into a trance state and I see visions. I lose myself to find myself in a different place.
Some of the visions I have are vague and others are very vivid. Every time I enter my place of power I feel as though I am on the right path to enlightenment. There are many different paths you can take to reach spiritual enlightenment. These are just a few of the things that I do to help me along my Wiccan Path.
Namaste, everyone.
What I like to do to relax is Yoga and Meditation. Usually I do Power Yoga once a week at my college. My roommates and I started going together last year and it's always been a favorite thing for us to do. Power Yoga is a little more difficult and intense than just plain ol' Yoga. It's more physically demanding of the body and takes more focus and balance.
By the middle of the hour session, sweat literally starts to drip from my forehead to the mat. The sweat is not all from the physical demand but also from the mental strain of it. After the session I feel so loose, relaxed, and enlightened.
Some of my favorite poses in Yoga are the Child Pose, Tree Pose, Downward Facing Dog, and Upward Facing Dog. These poses are very basic but I like their simplicity. I feel like I can meditate while I'm in these poses and release my energy from my Chakras throughout my body. I love the feeling it gives me.
In Meditation I normally use the Lotus Position which is traditional. I rest my hands on my knees instead of place them in front of my chest in a prayer like way. During Meditation I enter into what I like to call my place of power. I go into a trance state and I see visions. I lose myself to find myself in a different place.
Some of the visions I have are vague and others are very vivid. Every time I enter my place of power I feel as though I am on the right path to enlightenment. There are many different paths you can take to reach spiritual enlightenment. These are just a few of the things that I do to help me along my Wiccan Path.
Namaste, everyone.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Woman Empowerment
Today was my first day volunteering at the Breast Center which is a part of the local hospital. It deals with the usual mammograms, dexa scans, and cancer patients. I was really excited to finally be volunteering in this part of the hospital because I had requested this area when I first started over the summer.
My duties weren't much. They included helping patients find dressing rooms, instructing them on how to undress and how to redress in their capes and robes. I restocked the dressing rooms with fresh robes, capes, bags, and wipes. I helped patients to the waiting room and escorted them to the exits when they were finished with the doctors.
What made it so worthwhile was when all the women were seated in the waiting area they talked. They talked about their golden years, their families, their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, their losses, their triumphs, and their graying hair.
In that small waiting room they all were anticipating the same journey. Even though they were complete strangers, in that small room they were sisters. Each time one of them was called by the doctor to begin their journey the others would say God bless, good luck, and we'll make it.
It was so empowering to see women come together like that, to see them bond over something that could prove devastating. It made me proud to be a woman.
My duties weren't much. They included helping patients find dressing rooms, instructing them on how to undress and how to redress in their capes and robes. I restocked the dressing rooms with fresh robes, capes, bags, and wipes. I helped patients to the waiting room and escorted them to the exits when they were finished with the doctors.
What made it so worthwhile was when all the women were seated in the waiting area they talked. They talked about their golden years, their families, their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, their losses, their triumphs, and their graying hair.
In that small waiting room they all were anticipating the same journey. Even though they were complete strangers, in that small room they were sisters. Each time one of them was called by the doctor to begin their journey the others would say God bless, good luck, and we'll make it.
It was so empowering to see women come together like that, to see them bond over something that could prove devastating. It made me proud to be a woman.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Nourishment of Body and Spirit
Currently, I am sitting at my kitchen table watching over the food I am preparing for myself. The month of October is approaching and I want to get a few good meaty meals in before it's finally here. Why is this you may ask?
For the month of October I go vegetarian but there's more to it than that. It's not required in my religion of Wicca nor do I think there's any mention of it, but I do this a form of purification and cleansing of my body.
As every Witch knows, October is the month that houses the third Harvest Festival of the year known as Samhain or Halloween to most. Ah, so you've heard of it.
During this month I show my reverence to our Great Mother by eating foods from the Earth. I mostly consume raw foods because I feel as though I'm able to draw Her essence into myself. By the time Samhain is here, I am completely filled with Her.
Most people wouldn't understand this outside of the Wiccan Tradition but for those who aren't from this religion think of it as a sort of Fasting or even Lent. Those are probably examples that most people can identify with.
I've been doing this for a few years and I'm not going to lie and say it's easy. It takes dedication and strength, especially when your college roommates are cooking very delicious and tempting meals for themselves. However, my roommates are very supportive of me during this upcoming month.
They identify themselves as Christain although they aren't practicing. They actually think it's pretty cool to have a Witch as their roommate and best friend.
For the month of October I go vegetarian but there's more to it than that. It's not required in my religion of Wicca nor do I think there's any mention of it, but I do this a form of purification and cleansing of my body.
As every Witch knows, October is the month that houses the third Harvest Festival of the year known as Samhain or Halloween to most. Ah, so you've heard of it.
During this month I show my reverence to our Great Mother by eating foods from the Earth. I mostly consume raw foods because I feel as though I'm able to draw Her essence into myself. By the time Samhain is here, I am completely filled with Her.
Most people wouldn't understand this outside of the Wiccan Tradition but for those who aren't from this religion think of it as a sort of Fasting or even Lent. Those are probably examples that most people can identify with.
I've been doing this for a few years and I'm not going to lie and say it's easy. It takes dedication and strength, especially when your college roommates are cooking very delicious and tempting meals for themselves. However, my roommates are very supportive of me during this upcoming month.
They identify themselves as Christain although they aren't practicing. They actually think it's pretty cool to have a Witch as their roommate and best friend.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Shaking Down the Stereotypes
I recently acquired the position of Treasurer for a feminist activist group on campus. It's a little small and most people don't know how we contribute to society but we do plan some pretty cool events on campus like "Love Your Body" Day and the Vagina Monologues. I kind of wish people outside of Women's Studies knew about us.
I'm not your stereotypical feminist. I've heard guys talking around campus about what they think feminists are and look like. Especially about what we look like. You would think that a feminist looks like Chewbacca from some of the snippets of conversations I've heard.
I may not wear makeup because I never got into that scene as a pre-teen and I never saw a use for it for me, but I do shave my legs and underarms, guys. I am not a man hater, I do take showers, and my personal favorite, I do not kill and eat children.
Feminism is for equal rights for women and men in all aspects of life.
I don't look like a stereotypical Witch either. I remember once telling a friend of mine my religion. The first thing she said was, "No, you can't be a Witch. You're not wearing black clothes and fingernail polish."
I laughed thinking that this must be a joke but she was dead serious.
If you saw me walking around campus or just out on the street you'd probably just see a normal looking college girl. Most days I wear jeans, converse, and a nice button down shirt. The only things that I do wear that could possibly give me away if you have a sharp eye is my pentacle necklace and a leather band bracelet imprinted with my coven's name.
Most people see the necklace first and not the bracelet. I've even had a few people point at it and say "Satan". Then I have to go and correct them and explain to them who I am.
Notice I don't say what I am. My religion does not define me. I define my religion.
I'm not your stereotypical feminist. I've heard guys talking around campus about what they think feminists are and look like. Especially about what we look like. You would think that a feminist looks like Chewbacca from some of the snippets of conversations I've heard.
I may not wear makeup because I never got into that scene as a pre-teen and I never saw a use for it for me, but I do shave my legs and underarms, guys. I am not a man hater, I do take showers, and my personal favorite, I do not kill and eat children.
Feminism is for equal rights for women and men in all aspects of life.
I don't look like a stereotypical Witch either. I remember once telling a friend of mine my religion. The first thing she said was, "No, you can't be a Witch. You're not wearing black clothes and fingernail polish."
I laughed thinking that this must be a joke but she was dead serious.
If you saw me walking around campus or just out on the street you'd probably just see a normal looking college girl. Most days I wear jeans, converse, and a nice button down shirt. The only things that I do wear that could possibly give me away if you have a sharp eye is my pentacle necklace and a leather band bracelet imprinted with my coven's name.
Most people see the necklace first and not the bracelet. I've even had a few people point at it and say "Satan". Then I have to go and correct them and explain to them who I am.
Notice I don't say what I am. My religion does not define me. I define my religion.
Monday, September 24, 2012
A Stressful Weekend
I hit the road last Friday heading down to possibly the dullest town in America. That's if you can call a stop sign and a Dollar General store a "town". Luckily, I'm one of those few who can live without the internet and over 100 TV channels.
We were celebrating my little brother's birthday and being the awesome sister that I am I got him a new Zune HD MP3. Going home isn't the best part of my week. Seeing my dad and brother is, but being in virtually a stranger's house is kind of awkward. I don't know my step mother very well and what I do know about her is tolerable at best.
I swear she must own about 20 designer purses and yet only uses 2 of them. I don't buy designer anything. I couldn't care less if you bought a fake Coach bag from the flea market. It all looks the same to me. The only difference being the price.
When I go home I don't get anything done. It kind of just messes up my whole schedule so I prefer to just stay at college.
I'm not even to the most stressful part. I came back to college at around 9:40 PM on Sunday and discovered that half the room was empty. My roommate had moved all her stuff out of our apartment on campus without telling me, or my other two roommates.
Who does that?
At least have the tits to say to my face what the problem is. We were only ever nice to her. I cooked food for all of us. I initiated the conversations between us when we were in the room together which wasn't often because I'm always gone to work or class or meetings or volunteering. Even invited her along on outing occassions.
Oh, and did I mention we have been friends since my Freshman year of college?
Yeah...kind of makes her look even more like a douche.
Since I have all this space now I'm going to turn it into my yoga/meditation area so all's not lost. However, the cost of living here was split between 4 people by my college and now since there's only 3 of us left I'm not sure how the cost of living is going to be affected.
My roommates and I are not paying an extra $2,500 a piece because my roommate left a note saying that our sleeping schedules weren't working out.
That's just BS.
We were celebrating my little brother's birthday and being the awesome sister that I am I got him a new Zune HD MP3. Going home isn't the best part of my week. Seeing my dad and brother is, but being in virtually a stranger's house is kind of awkward. I don't know my step mother very well and what I do know about her is tolerable at best.
I swear she must own about 20 designer purses and yet only uses 2 of them. I don't buy designer anything. I couldn't care less if you bought a fake Coach bag from the flea market. It all looks the same to me. The only difference being the price.
When I go home I don't get anything done. It kind of just messes up my whole schedule so I prefer to just stay at college.
I'm not even to the most stressful part. I came back to college at around 9:40 PM on Sunday and discovered that half the room was empty. My roommate had moved all her stuff out of our apartment on campus without telling me, or my other two roommates.
Who does that?
At least have the tits to say to my face what the problem is. We were only ever nice to her. I cooked food for all of us. I initiated the conversations between us when we were in the room together which wasn't often because I'm always gone to work or class or meetings or volunteering. Even invited her along on outing occassions.
Oh, and did I mention we have been friends since my Freshman year of college?
Yeah...kind of makes her look even more like a douche.
Since I have all this space now I'm going to turn it into my yoga/meditation area so all's not lost. However, the cost of living here was split between 4 people by my college and now since there's only 3 of us left I'm not sure how the cost of living is going to be affected.
My roommates and I are not paying an extra $2,500 a piece because my roommate left a note saying that our sleeping schedules weren't working out.
That's just BS.
Friday, September 21, 2012
A Little About Me
There's a little more to me than meets the eye.
If you're going to be reading this, there are some things you all should know about me. Firstly, I'm trying to make it through college by the skin of my teeth. Secondly, I'm a very active and outgoing person. Thirdly, I'm a new Junior in a somewhat intolerable college. Lastly, I'm a witch...in training.
Before you start seeing black cats and broomsticks, let me just say this. I do not worship Satan. In fact, we don't believe in Satan. I do not curse people. I may use foul language but I will definitely not curse you. I am not a bad person.
Now for what I am. I am learning about herbal, crystal, and auric healing. My energies are used to help heal those in mind, body, and spirit. I am a child of the Goddess. I am for equality and peace. There are a lot of other things that I am, but I'll get into that later.
As of now, just know that I am who I am. I fight for what I believe in and before this journey through college is over, I'll most likely have a better understanding of myself, spiritually, physical, mentally, and emotionally.
But for now, I'm just trying to survive.
If you're going to be reading this, there are some things you all should know about me. Firstly, I'm trying to make it through college by the skin of my teeth. Secondly, I'm a very active and outgoing person. Thirdly, I'm a new Junior in a somewhat intolerable college. Lastly, I'm a witch...in training.
Before you start seeing black cats and broomsticks, let me just say this. I do not worship Satan. In fact, we don't believe in Satan. I do not curse people. I may use foul language but I will definitely not curse you. I am not a bad person.
Now for what I am. I am learning about herbal, crystal, and auric healing. My energies are used to help heal those in mind, body, and spirit. I am a child of the Goddess. I am for equality and peace. There are a lot of other things that I am, but I'll get into that later.
As of now, just know that I am who I am. I fight for what I believe in and before this journey through college is over, I'll most likely have a better understanding of myself, spiritually, physical, mentally, and emotionally.
But for now, I'm just trying to survive.
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