New Love

I've never been so happy! I prayed to the Goddess to show me the way for a very long time and now it's finally happening. I've found the path that I'm supposed to be walking and I'm going to try my hardest to stick to it.

I'm so happy with my new lover. I knew this was where I was supposed to be going in my life. In the past I just felt so held back and held down. I wasn't free. I was being suppressed by the person who was supposed to love me. He couldn't accept who I was and who I am. I knew that that wasn't the kind of relationship that I wanted to have but I just didn't know how to get away.

I was stuck in a rut. We had been together for over a year and a half and I was just comfortable with being with him. He was safe territory that I had grown used to. I knew that our relationship was based on me giving in to everything that I wanted to do and be. I knew I was the one who wasn't getting any respect. I should have chopped off that dead limb when I had the chance. I was just too afraid to take the risk.

Why was I so afraid though?

I'm not even sure of that answer. I guess I was afraid of being alone. It's true that I hate being alone. I hate feeling like a failure. I didn't want that relationship to fail even though I knew it was ending. We were just too different. I needed acceptance and support, not rejection and judgement.

I feel like I wasted a year and a half of my life by trying to make someone else happy and not myself but I'm going to try and turn this into a learning experience. I'm slowly getting over this past relationship and I think by Halloween I will be mostly over it.

Halloween, also known as Samhain, is the Celtic New Year and this is what I'm going to pray for. I'm going to pray to keep myself on the path that the God and Goddess and the Old Ones have chosen for me and I'm going to pray to have the strength to let go of the past and move on and accept this new love that is blossoming for me.