Last night, my Sister Witch Cara and I, performed our Spiritual Awakening Ritual together for the New Moon. I thought it would be appropriate since the New Moon represents new beginnings and fresh starts. Even thought the New Moon is today, you can perform Esbat Rituals up to three days before and some say up to three days after.
If you'd like to see the ritual that we performed, it's posted on my other blog which you can find at http://www.goddesspoetry.blogspot.com/.
Tonight, I think I'm going to ask the Goddess to heal me, to help me get past everything that's been going on. I was so attached; I was so emotionally invested in my relationship because I thought it would be something good. I thought it would turn out for the better and then I was blind sided by everyone. I'm getting tired of people saying "this is what God wants" because it's not God who makes our choices. It's us.
That's what's making it so hard for me to move on from this because I know that this was his parent's choice for us not to be together and he's only doing it to make his family happy. It's driving me insane! I'm trying not to dwell on it too much. I'm trying to meet other people and be around those that make me happy. For a moment, I can escape everything and live normally but then my mind drifts back to the big "what if".
What if this happened or what if that happened. I just feel so lost and alone. I feel like no one understands my pain even though I know people have. At least maybe. I mean people find their husbands and wives cheating on them. I'm sure they feel as distraught as I do. How do they cope? How do they get over something like that? I need to learn this secret.
No comments:
Post a Comment