Under Pressure

It's crunch time here at college. It's time to get those last grades in and buckle down for finals week. I guess you could say that I'm procrastinating right now although not really. I'm just trying to remember what all I have to do and I'm praying that my Physics teacher does not drop a last minute assignment on me that's due tomorrow.

I just finished a paper that's due Thursday and I've been studying for my Chemistry exam all morning. I guess I need to do a little studying for my Animal Science quiz tomorrow. I'm more interested in updating my group website with a lot of interesting Wicca folklore, history, rituals, and facts. However, school comes before the Craft.

I'm really nervous about this upcoming Yule Ritual mainly because I feel like everyone is looking at me to lead them in it. I don't feel like I'm the most qualified person to be leading this ritual even though it is on a minor sabbat. I kind of wish my co-leader would do this one since I had to lead the Samhain one. I think it's her turn since we're going to be doing it at her place.

One of us can take on the High Priestess role and the other the High Priest. I guess I'll have to talk to her more about this. The "basic" Yule ritual for Dynion Mwyn is not so basic. It's actually very complicated with a whole bunch of dialogue. I hate to be reading from a script but I feel like that's how it's going to be this time.

I don't have time to memorize anything. I was never very good at public speaking either. I'm sure even if I did memorize everything I would forget the words as soon as the pressure set in. It's not so easy to lead people to enlightenment. I'm trying my best here but some things I have yet to learn. I'm still learning everything myself and I let my students know that. I'm sure some of them know more than me because they've been doing this way longer. I'm the youngest person in this group and it makes me feel just a little on edge.

However, I have confidence in myself. I have confidence in this group. My teacher has confidence in me. I will persevere.