Kids These Days

I leave for my home today and it feels so odd not being bombarded with assignments, homework, and work in general. I'm taking a lot of books back with me to read. I don't know if I'll read any of them but the intention is there. They're all about Wicca for the most part.

I won't have internet while I'm home. I may post things from my phone from time to time but other than that I won't be posting as often as I'd like. That's why I'm also taking my journal down there with me. I haven't packed up all my clothes yet but I packed up all my Wiccan supplies for the Yule ritual. I haven't even left for home and I already miss being at school.

It's terrible when you're a workaholic. You're always doing things and then when you have free time you get so bored. I get sort of depressed when I'm bored. That's why I hate the summer time. I have nothing to do and it's a terrible feeling.

I am excited to help my step mother put up the Christmas tree. I always loved doing that when I was a kid. Although, back then we had an 8 ft tall fake tree and this one is only 4 ft tall. Shouldn't take any time at all to decorate I guess. My dad said that no one would help her with the decorations even though she has a 15 year old daughter and my brother who's 18. They are so damn lazy. It's four feet tall for crying out loud. How long would it take? 15 minutes??

Kids these days. I admit I was a little lazy as a teenager too but I wasn't a sorry ass! Kids think they're so entitled to everything. "I need a cell phone, I need a laptop, I need an IPad." No fuck you don't. I didn't have a cell phone till I was a junior in High School. I bought my own laptop when I was a freshman in college with the money I made from my JOB.And no, I still don't have an IPad. I have a laptop so close enough.

My future kids will not have a cell phone when they are in elementary school. They may get a cell phone in middle school depending on if they're a part of any clubs and have after school activities that I need to be made aware of. However, they're not going to have the whole data package bull shit. What kid in middle school needs that when they have a computer (a real home computer) to use the internet. Maybe they'll get a laptop when they graduate High School but they don't need one before then.

I can hear it now. If I get my future child a laptop before college chances are they're going to break it before they go and need a new one. So I'm saving them the trouble. People may think that's a little too strict but it's not. Kids will be fine without all that extra technology. Nowadays, we buy three different devices that do the exact same thing.

I bought myself a Zune one Christmas back in 2007 I think it was. They're just like an IPod but I think they have a few different features that make them a little better than an IPod. Anyway, it works fine. People always ask "Why don't you get an IPod? They're newer." The real question is why would I buy a device that does the exact same thing and then have to redownload all my music and possibly hook up to some stupid Apple account? If it's not broken then don't fix it.

The only time that phrase wouldn't really apply to would be a car I suppose. Although I plan on having my car for quite some time before I sell it.

Keep Calm and Stay Strong

I'm getting the feeling that I'm being taken for a ride. I'm trying to do all this great stuff with my website for the Old Spirit Path Study Group by posting interesting articles, videos, pictures, facts, and just some really cool stuff and my partner has been shying away from this. When I tell her about this cool stuff I'm posting for out students she just says "cool" or "awesome" or "ok...??"

Her very vague and ambiguous texts just make me feel like she's not interested in what I'm trying to do or maybe she just doesn't approve of it. Like I've been posting new photo albums on the group of information and charts and some really awesome looking stuff. I told her about them and she acts like she doesn't understand.

I, on the other hand, was very proud of my photo albums that I've created. The ones I've created so far are for candle magick, what it means to be a witch, and meditation & healing. The ones for candle magick has pictures of all the different colored candles plus information about their uses and meanings on each one. The pictures for witches include the 13 goals of a witch, the wiccan rede, and about the elements which is still in progress. The pictures for meditation and healing include different forms of meditation, a chart on yoga positions and tai chi, a chart on healing trees, chakras, and even a foot massage chart on different pressure points on the feet that correspond to certain organs and healing throughout the body.

Of course I intend to add a lot more to these albums and even a few more albums that I've been thinking about. These would include spells, divination & readings, and quotes of enlightenment. I even posted an interesting article about onion magick!

Maybe I'm straying from the teachings of Dynion Mwyn by posting these things but our group is called the Old Spirit Path Study Group. It's a place for people to find their own path and not us to force it upon them. I have posted things related to Dynion Mwyn. Everything I've posted is either common knowledge of Wicca or Dynion Mwyn knows about it.

This study group is for people who are seeking enlightenment. I'm here to spread enlightenment, not Wicca. If Wicca is your path like it's mine then it's cool, but if it's not then that's cool too. At least you will have learned about it from our site. I'm not here to please everyone. I'm here to help people find a path that's right for them. Key word: help.

Christmas Break

So the dreaded Chemistry Final has been taken. Too bad I'll never get to know what I made on that test because the teachers never tell us. I feel pretty good about it. There was one problem that pissed me off though because I didn't know if the molecule underwent rearrangement or not. I think my brain started playing tricks on me.

Anyway, I finally got the Yule Ritual done and posted it on the website for my members. I can't wait for it! I think it'll be a good celebration. My co-leader and I are thinking of plans on how we want to prepare the space for the Circle, alter, and bonfire. I can't wait to decorate. I'm going to go to Walmart today and get some supplies. I need to get some cinnamon sticks because I want to make some pentagram ornaments for the trees that we'll be lighting around the Circle. Those will represent our Yule Trees.

I want nothing but positive energy happening at this ritual. I'll be putting a lot of positive energy into it!

Since I have an entire day to myself tomorrow which means no final and no work, I'll be spending tonight with my boyfriend. We're going to go out to eat together, maybe rent a movie to watch as we cuddle, and I'll probably bake cookies.

I have a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough that needs to be eaten by Friday otherwise it'll spoil while I'm gone for Christmas Break. Don't tell anyone, but I'm sort of pawning my cookie dough off on my boyfriend. I really don't need all the sweets.

It's been a pretty good day today. I'm just glad that I only have one final left and then I can go home to see my family, although I will miss my "family" up here.

Finals Week

I am officially done with my Physics class today. I took the final and now it's over...till I have to take the second part next semester. I've been studying my ass off for my last two finals. After I finish writing this I'm going to start a load of clothes and start looking at chemistry. My Chemistry final is tomorrow. I really need to do well on this.

It's so weird that I haven't been doing well on the exams in the class because I printed off all the practice exams and exams we took during the semester and filled them out. I only missed one or two problems on each exam and this was without even studying the notes. How come I can do this when I'm not in class but can't when I am? Maybe I have anxiety in that class.

For some reason, I haven't been able to focus on my studies this week. I feel like I'm constantly distracted by other things. Not that these distractions are bad, but I'm procrastinating more than usual. I've been having to force myself to study for my Cardio/Hepatic/Pulmonary/Renal Physiology exam and it hasn't been going to well. I've been studying two chapters of it a day.

I stopped trying to memorize everything and just read over it and get the gist of things. I'm getting all confused about the TCA cycle and how triglycerides work. It's messing me up! Luckily, I have three more days to get it straightened out.

I think tonight would be a good night for me to do some meditation to try and relax my mind and relieve some of the stress. It may also help me focus more on my studies. I know the new moon is coming up Thursday. Maybe that's why I'm so distracted.

I've also been thinking about Yule a lot. I have to get the ritual posted soon and go out and buy supplies for it. The one thing I am really looking forward to this week is sleeping in on Thursday. I am so excited. I don't get to sleep in during the week ever!

I'm so ready to relax tomorrow night after my Chemistry Final because my next final isn't till Friday. I can't wait to spend the day with my boyfriend.

This Generation

Yesterday was a pretty amazing day. I studied a little bit but for the most part I spent it with my wonderful and loving boyfriend. He's changed so much and I'm still very much surprised by that. We went hiking to this cave that only a few people know about. It's really pretty there but my boyfriend was too scared to go all the way in the cave. I didn't know he was afraid of bats!

Afterwards, we went out to eat and my roommate texted me to say that our Nutrition teacher came down with the flu. Because of her sudden illness, she made the final optional. I, of course, jumped all over that since my exam was supposed to be today. I was making an A in the class anyway so I was glad to be able to exempt.

I was also excited that one of my friends texted me asking about possibly hanging out over our breaks from college. I hope we can patch our friendship up after what happened between us. It seems like it's working. She may even come to the Yule Ritual with my group which is very exciting! I hope she comes but I understand if she goes to the Yule Celebration with her ESA group from her college instead.

Something happened today at work that kind of broke my heart. I work at an elementary school in the computer labs helping kids prep for their CRCT's and learn math and reading. Well, today I had a class that was just doing games on the internet. I was helping a little girl with her game because she chose a reading game. 

Well, in the game you could choose what kind of house you wanted to live in, what kind of pet you wanted, and make your character, etc. It was kind of neat. I was helping her with these things and it came to the part where we had to make her character.

She wanted brown hair, blue eyes, and white skin. I was a little surprised by this choice because most kids would fashion a character after themselves. She had brown hair, brown eyes, and brown skin. I didn't think much of it until she said, "That's what I'm supposed to look like."

I looked at her, a little saddened, and asked, "Why is that, sweetie?" 

She said, "Because that's what everyone says."

"Who says that?" I asked.

She just replied, "Everyone."

This child is in first grade. The media and images had already affected her so much that she was insecure with herself and thought that she wasn't beautiful. It's happening at such a young age now which is quite frightening.

Feminism At Its Worst

So I think I studied so much yesterday that I feel like doing absolutely nothing today. I need to get out of this state of mind otherwise I'm not going to do too hot on my exams! To try and get myself back on track, I thought I'd go ahead and update my blog. Then maybe after, I'll feel like studying more.

While looking around on my facebook and posting the usual inspirational, motivational, and humorous pictures that I stubble upon, I started looking at one of the pages I liked. It's called "Women's Rights News". I'm all for some women's rights so I liked it. Well, recently they've been getting a lot of backlash from fellow feminists on some of the pictures they've been posting.

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, there's this one picture they posted which is obviously some kind of cartoon from a comic strip. It has an average looking woman shopping in a store holding up a really tiny shirt. There's an extremely skinny sales clerk standing in front of her. Well the woman says, "Do you make this in a size for people who eat?"

Now, at first glance, I thought it was funny. I didn't think anything else of it. It's a comedic strategy for a relatable experience. I found it quite humorous since a lot of the name brand stores don't carry anything in a size over 12 or 14 which I find quite stupid considering sizes 12 and 14 are the size of the average woman--in America. I'm not sure about the average size in other countries or the world.

Either way, I felt that it was a jab at department stores. Everyone I know has had an experience where they find that really cute outfit but they can't find their size. It always seems like smaller people get the cuter clothes as well. I'm between the media definition of thick and thin. I'm a size 8 but I used to be a size 18. I lost all my weight when I hit puberty plus I took weight training classes and ran everyday.

I'm a muscular person but yes I do have fat on places like my hips and tummy. It's no big deal to me. I actually very much love my body.

Anyway, I'm a little off topic. So the picture and the comments. Well, a lot of people didn't like the joke, in fact they outright hated it and disapproved. I can see their reasoning behind it which was that the picture was insulting skinny people, people with high metabolisms, people with eating disorders, etc. I didn't really think of it that way to begin with but I can see why people were thinking that.

However, people were just becoming rude and nasty about it. They were saying that they were going to unlike the page, that the page wasn't about equal rights, and a lot of other things. Well, you can't make everybody happy. That's not even the first photo to be argued over.

There was another photo that had a picture of a man holding a car door open for a woman and it said "Real men still do this". Okay, maybe take out the word "real" and just substitute it for the word "nice" or say "gentlemen still do this". Not really that big of a deal and yet everyone was getting so upset over it saying things like "I don't need a man to do this for me!" and "I can open a door by myself thank you very much! I would be offended if they did this!"

Really? You would be offended if a guy held a door open for you? What about if a girl opens a door for a man? Would the man feel like he was less of a man and thus be offended? It's just a nice gesture, you guys. I guess I'm going to have to teach my future children not to open doors for anyone lest they offend someone. So remember kids, always slam a door in the person's face so they won't be offended.

My personal opinion of this, is that yes, I would very much appreciate a man holding open a car door for me. It's a nice thing to do for someone. I don't look at it as his way of saying that I'm too weak to open my own door. I would just look at it as him doing a nice thing for me. You sir, get a gold star for the day.

Damn, even the feminists can't get along. I have no hope for the rest of humanity. We have to get rid of all these double standards.

Family Dinner

Today was the last day of classes and it feels great to be done. However, I have a bunch of studying to do so it's going to be a very long weekend. As I expected I didn't do so well on my Chemistry exam. I don't get why I don't do well since I study very hard. I think I get confused on his tests or something and just don't know what he's exactly asking for.

I'll just have to study even harder for this final I guess and hope for the best. I already printed off all the practice exams and practice problems to keep me busy this weekend. I'm almost done writing my notes for my cardio class. I'll be getting on studying that too. I think the material will be easier for me to grasp since a lot of it is about metabolism which interests me.

I also need to get started on that Yule ritual but I have so many other things to do. I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I shouldn't even feel this way since my classes are over!

I'm looking forward to tonight though. I'm going to be at my boyfriend's family dinner and I am a little nervous. I want to make a good impression even if the only people there are his brother and aunt. His mom and dad are in Pakistan. I've been stressing out on what to wear all day long. I want to look cute, but conservative. I don't know.

I think I'm putting way too much thought into all of this. I should just wear something I'm comfortable in and call it a day. I'll have to update this later and let everyone know how it goes.

*Update*

So this post was supposed to have been posted yesterday but I guess it didn't. Since it didn't I'll just update you guys on the family dinner on here.

It actually went very well. My boyfriend's aunt is the sweetest lady. She's very tiny too. Anyway, the food was great and I had a really good time with them. I actually took some of the food home with me to eat for later. I think I made a good impression on his family.

Good Morning

It's 7 AM here in good ol' Georgia. I'll be heading off to work in about half an hour or so. Why am I up so early you may ask? The mornings are one of the rare times that I get to have to myself. I love it because it's quiet, peaceful, and serene. I love Tuesday and Thursday mornings the best because I'm the only one up at this time.

I'm able to do a little mental meditation in the mornings so I can focus on what needs to be done throughout the day. It keeps me energized and ready to tackle the world. I don't see very many "morning people" around anymore. I wonder if I could do a study on this one day.

I feel like morning people may be a little more productive throughout the day than those aren't. I only think this because they've had time to let their mind awaken. They probably already have a study on this somewhere and I might do a little research on it just to see what I can find.

People always ask why I get up so early. I get up this early even on the weekends. My biological clock has basically been conditioned for me to get up this early. I have no control over it. Once the sun is up, or just about to come up, then I'm up. I like waking up right before the sun so I can bid the moon farewell and greet the rising sun.

You know you love nature when you like this time of day and do that.

Reflection

You ever feel like you never have a break? I'm feeling like that right now. I'm not the energizer bunny here. I do need a little time to myself every once in awhile. I try to do periods of meditation and reflection to help with stress relief but lately I just haven't had the time.

I feel like I'm trying to take on too many things at once. College is really riding me right now with finals just around the corner and everything. I just had an hour and a half review session for my Animal Science Nutrition class and another session of that same time frame with my Physics group to work on a work sheet together.

I finally told everyone that I needed to go. I just need some time to myself to sit back, relax, and reflect. Not to mention the sleep that I am obviously missing out on. However, I'm probably going to use this time to update the Old Spirit Path Study Group web page to keep my students informed on upcoming events. The only time I get some time to relax is when my boyfriend comes over.

He really puts me at ease and I'm so happy when he's around. It's so different now between him and me. Before, we barely saw each other and I felt unimportant. I was never happy when he was around because I felt like he only came because he felt obligated to see me. Now I feel like he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him and that makes me so happy. I want to be with him even more now and I find myself thinking about him and missing him more often.

I'm going to keep studying my ass off for these exams while trying to balance my social life and my Wiccan life. I'm doing all these things when some of the things I'm doing weren't supposed to be just on my shoulders. I wish my partner for the study group would help me out a little more. I'm in the process of drawing up a script for the Yule Ritual and I would really like some help on it.

Not that I need the help but I have a lot of other things on my plate right now. However, I know it won't get done if I don't do it myself. Hopefully, I can get it done by this weekend so I can send it out to the students along with a list of supplies they may want to bring.

I'm sure everything will work out. I took my Chemistry exam and Lab practicum today. I hope I did okay!

Under Pressure

It's crunch time here at college. It's time to get those last grades in and buckle down for finals week. I guess you could say that I'm procrastinating right now although not really. I'm just trying to remember what all I have to do and I'm praying that my Physics teacher does not drop a last minute assignment on me that's due tomorrow.

I just finished a paper that's due Thursday and I've been studying for my Chemistry exam all morning. I guess I need to do a little studying for my Animal Science quiz tomorrow. I'm more interested in updating my group website with a lot of interesting Wicca folklore, history, rituals, and facts. However, school comes before the Craft.

I'm really nervous about this upcoming Yule Ritual mainly because I feel like everyone is looking at me to lead them in it. I don't feel like I'm the most qualified person to be leading this ritual even though it is on a minor sabbat. I kind of wish my co-leader would do this one since I had to lead the Samhain one. I think it's her turn since we're going to be doing it at her place.

One of us can take on the High Priestess role and the other the High Priest. I guess I'll have to talk to her more about this. The "basic" Yule ritual for Dynion Mwyn is not so basic. It's actually very complicated with a whole bunch of dialogue. I hate to be reading from a script but I feel like that's how it's going to be this time.

I don't have time to memorize anything. I was never very good at public speaking either. I'm sure even if I did memorize everything I would forget the words as soon as the pressure set in. It's not so easy to lead people to enlightenment. I'm trying my best here but some things I have yet to learn. I'm still learning everything myself and I let my students know that. I'm sure some of them know more than me because they've been doing this way longer. I'm the youngest person in this group and it makes me feel just a little on edge.

However, I have confidence in myself. I have confidence in this group. My teacher has confidence in me. I will persevere.

Rock City

The people I sought to erase from my life are now back in it and I'm so happy. This all feels right now. I feel like everything is falling back into place for me. I feel like I'm back on the right path. I'm giving my ex another chance to prove to me that we should be together. He's proved to me that he's worth the risk.

Unfortunately, I did have to break another man's heart in the process who I was dating. I feel kind of bad about it but in a way I feel okay. I didn't have very strong feelings for the other. I wasn't in love and I was trying to force my heart to love him when that's not what I wanted.

I hated that I couldn't fall in love with him but I'm just so in love with my ex still. Soon to not be ex but boyfriend again. I'm taking a huge risk. He better love me more than ever and tell his family that there's no way he's ever going to let me go.I don't give third chances.

He took me to Rock City yesterday. It was so pretty up there with all the lights set up for Christmas and the beautiful rock formation and nature. I took a piece of willow branch for my collection. Maybe we'll go back up there one day together. I would like to go in the summer to see all the flowers in bloom.

They had this new thing up there that I had never seen. Well, it wasn't so new because I hadn't been there in a very long time and apparently it had been there for 6 years. It's was called Fairyland caverns. It was in a cave and had different scenes from different fairy tales inside. It was so beautiful.

I'm eating some of the fudge I had gotten from the fudge kitchen there right now. I brought home some really neat stuff. I love my gemstone tree and gem bracelet that I got. I think the gems on the tree are serpentine and the gem on my bracelet is aquamarine. I'll have to look it up later to see but either way they are beautiful!

Zen Paradise

Yesterday was a great study session with my Wiccan study group. I'm trying to set up a time and place we can gather and do a Yule ritual. We were all joking that we should because we may all be dead after that like everyone is saying. I have no doubt that there may be a great change coming on December 21st and after it. However, I do not believe that it's the end of the world.

I've survived about 4 different predicted apocalypses now so I think I'll survive another one.

I'm so ready to go home for the holidays. I have two weeks left of school and then I'm home free! I love this time of year. Fall is my favorite season with all the colors but I lover winter almost as much. My least favorite season is summer. Not that I don't like the warmness of the sun on my face or the light breezes, but I just get so bored during that time. I have nothing to occupy myself with.

I'm hoping that I'll get done today with my room. I'm thinking about rearranging some furniture. I'm worried that I'll do all this work and then get assigned a roommate when I get back for the holidays over Christmas. I'm not really sure but I secretly hope not. I don't want to take my zen paradise down and put the bed back together.

I have a few important things coming up this week such as a Chemistry exam and lab practicum in my Animal Science Reproductive anatomy and physiology class. I really need to do well on this Chemistry exam. My life depends on it!

Yule

It's getting much closer to Yule and I'm extremely excited for it. Today, I'm going to be decorating my room and transforming it into a zen paradise complete with a waterfall and beautiful crystal lights. I guess having my roommate move out back near the beginning of the semester was a good thing. I'll also be teaching a study session today about Yule, its traditions, history, and customs.

Yule various within each tradition. Some traditions reenact the great battle between the Oak King and Holly King, some use Ash as the wood for the Yule log while others use Oak, some sing Yule carols, the list could go on and on. I'll probably just hit some of the major points that are similar in all traditions.

Christmas isn't celebrated much differently from Yule. During Yule, people set up a Yule tree and decorate it with tinsel and ornaments and candles. They celebrate with feasts, gifts, caroling, and spread joy and happiness and wishes.They decorate with holly and mistletoe and light the Yule log. Also the main colors that symbolize this sabbat are red and green. Sounds a lot like Christmas doesn't it? Or should I say that Christmas sounds a lot like Yule since Yule predates Christmas.

Basically, Yule is the winter solstice and is normally celebrated between December 20-23 depending on the year. It celebrates the rebirth of the Oak King, or Sun King/God who will begin warming the frozen earth with the waxing of the year. It's a time for joy, happiness, and just the feeling of being alive!

On this day everyone should wish each other a happy well being. However, that's not always the case, unfortunately. Our teachings are not so different compared to all the religions that are floating around out there. Of course, there are a few exceptions to this rule. I really hope that one day we can all set our differences aside.

I really don't like the word "religion". I guess I don't like what comes to mind when people say that word. I feel like it's almost restrictive in some way, like I can't partake in anything outside the accepted religion. I love the word "spirituality", however. It sounds free to me, like I can express who I am openly. Like I don't have to conform to be a person of one boxed in religion. I can be everything at once and believe everything or reject everything and have a new belief.

That's just my opinion. I'm not sure if anyone feels the same way.