Friends Forever

Okay, I think it's about time to write something very serious and very meaningful to me. I was trying to do this last night but the internet was so backed up with college students doing last minute research for projects and presentations that I assume they forgot about over the break. Just like me.

Have you ever felt such a strong bond to someone and you're not really sure what it's about or why it's there or why you even feel that way? I have those bonds with certain people. People that I know are and will eventually be very important in my life. Once these bonds are fully formed it's really hard to let go no matter how hard you try.

I've been trying to sever deep bonds with some very close people and they know who they are. I've done everything to get rid of these deep feelings of kindred spirits by burying them, getting angry at them, telling myself I'm better off without them. In the process, I was not only hurting them, but hurting myself. I really need these people in my life.

It's hard for some people to admit that. Hell, it was hard for myself to admit that. I'm a very independent woman and I don't like admitting that I'm wrong or even to forgive people. I always want to force myself to harbor those feelings of anger, hatred, betrayal, and sadness. I guess I do it because it's easier to hate someone and not talk to them for a very long time or ever than it is to say sorry and forgive them and yourself for letting your disagreements and petty arguments get the best of you.

I can be a lot of things but not at the same time. When I first get into arguments with people I normally brush it off but then later on I start thinking about the situation and I feel the emotion that I should have been experiencing during the argument. That's when I make the mistake of bringing everything up again which just leads to a new argument.

I'm trying to do better. I'm trying to be a better and more understanding person. Someone told me I wasn't very understanding and I guess she was right. I only understand my feelings. She's recently been talking to me again which really surprised me to be honest. I thought she would never speak to me again. It makes me happy but at the same time it makes me nervous. I'm so afraid I'm going to say something wrong and she's going to be angry with me again.

We may never talk like we used to and that saddens me. We used to tell each other everything but I can't tell her everything anymore. It's not that I don't want to. I'm just afraid next time we have a misunderstanding then we really won't talk to each other.

You know, the Goddess really has blessed me with a very diverse group of friends. I love them all and I could not ask for anyone better.

Applebee's Blues

I just wrote a very lovely letter to the people at the good old Applebee's describing in detail the food poisoning they gave me over Thanksgiving Break. I wrote on their facebook wall telling them that it had happened and they apparently did not like my "very serious statement" about their establishment. Well they're just going to have to get used to it. It's not the first time I've gotten food poisoning from there.

My roommates were saying that maybe Applebee's will give me a giftcard. However, I do not want a giftcard to a restaurant that gives people food poisoning! I don't want to go through that again! Of course, I may be able to stick to safe foods there but I will always be haunted.

I keep remembering things that I need to do. I'm trying to keep myself from procrastinating as much as possible so I've been working on everything at once. I just remembered that my clothes are still upstairs in the dryer which I should probably go get.

Until we meet again.

Thanksgiving

It feels so good to be back at my college from Thanksgiving break! Not that being away and at home with family was bad, but I had work I had to do that was due when I got back so I was worried about that, studying to for tests so I was worried about that, and no internet so I couldn't even update anything. I won't have internet while I'm back home for Christmas either so I'll have to update this blog from my phone whenever I get the chance.

My Thanksgiving wasn't really that great. I had food poisoning on the one day out of the year where you're supposed to stuff your face with all this delicious food. Oh, and give thanks for what you have. I spent this Thanksgiving with my step mother's brother's family. I didn't know anyone and I didn't really feel like talking since I obviously wasn't feeling well. I'm probably the only person who lost weight over the break.

I did get to see a lot of my old friends but I had to drive all the way to my hometown which is now a hour away from the town I live in. So it was a lot of gas and a lot of money. I'm sad to be seeing the gas prices go up. Of course I knew that was going to happen since it's getting close to the holidays and the election is over.

I have a very important test on Wednesday that I need to get motivated to study for. That's my problem right now. I don't have any motivation to get back in the swing of things at school. It's really bad because I really need to tighten up for my finals that are coming up in about two weeks. I keep remembering things that I need to do. Fortunately, this is the only test I have this week so I can spend all night tonight and day tomorrow studying for it.

If I make an A on this exam then I will have an A in the class because the final will be optional. I'm not taking the final if I can help it.

Weekend Plans

The workload is starting to slow down for me but I know that I have to keep up otherwise it'll all come rushing back down on me. I have my physics test tomorrow and our teacher still hasn't given us the grades from our previous test or shown us the answer solutions to our third worksheet which is closely related to this upcoming test.

It's safe to say that I have one of the most unorganized and useless teachers ever.

I've been doing the optional problems that he assigned us yesterday and I can do them pretty well and they're fairly easy. However, I know the test is not easy. None of the tests that I've had in his class so far have been anywhere close to easy.

Friday night I'm going to an event called "Night at the Museum". It's based on the movie and it's at the Oak Hill Museum that is sponsored by my college. It's where our founder, Martha Berry, used to live and where her first school was started. The tickets sold out which is a little surprising. I hope it's fun!

Saturday I'm going shopping at Rue 21 only because I have a coupon that gets me $20 off a $40 purchase. If you've ever been to that store then you know that $40 can buy you a bunch of clothes. I'm thinking about buying jeans for the most part and maybe a nice shirt. It's probably a better deal than what'll be happening on Black Friday anyway.

I think my step mother is going to take Kelly (her daughter), my brother, and I all shopping. If she does then I probably won't buy anything. She only goes to name brand stores and their jeans are still $30+ on Black Friday and that's with 50% off!! I can't do that again like I did last year. I barely bought anything.

I also have the first Old Spirit Path study group session happening Saturday. I'm a little nervous because I want to be the best study group leader that I can be. This first session will just be a meet and greet kind of thing. I'll also be handing out a questionnaire to get to know the members.

All in all I think it's going to be a busy weekend. I'm also going to try and fit in some study time and get some work done. I have some things I need to get done over Thanksgiving Break.

It truly never ends.

Happy Diwali

Happy Diwali everyone! For those who don't know what that is it's the Festival of Lights that is celebrated by Hindus. It's also their Indian New Year. I just thought that it was something special to be recognized. I actually admire a lot of religious holidays that aren't my own.

Anyway, I finally have some time to relax for a bit before I start studying for my physics exam on Friday. Today I had a nutrition exam that I think I did well on. I'm so ready for Monday though because not only do I get off at noon since there is no work at the elementary school, but I also get to spend time with my new lover.

I really can't wait.

Next week is Thanksgiving Break. I'll be leaving to go home on Tuesday night since that's the last day of classes for me. I'm really excited to see my dad and little brother. It feels like I haven't seen them in forever. I'm just glad that I get to spend Thanksgiving with my dad who is hardly ever home for the holidays. He's a truck driver so his schedule isn't the best.

It's getting so close to the end of the semester and I'm really ready for the Christmas holidays. My boyfriend has said that he's going to take me on a trip to anywhere I want. I couldn't make up my mind so I just told him to surprise me. I'm thinking he's going to take me to Las Vegas or something. That would be really fun!

I know I probably shouldn't feel this but I feel pity for my ex. I'm happy and moved on and he's still stuck behind. Well, I guess Karma is taking it's toll now. He doesn't seem very happy, in fact he seems miserable. He has such a sad energy that I can feel. He's always bored and just really doesn't have anything to live for. Not that I would wish anything ill on him but his life seems very dull.

Well, I guess this was his fault and his decision. I think I was the only person that spiced up his life but oh well. He'll eventually find someone who wants to be as boring as him.

Revolution

I remember sitting in history class learning about the American Revolution and thinking to myself wow. Those Americans stood up for what they believed in and didn't hold back when they were outnumbered by the British. They fought for their independence till the ground was covered in their blood, sweat, and tears. They fought for freedom from Britain rule and from the constraints of taxation.

It looks like it all may be happening again real soon.

I read the news a lot. It seems like it has just been scandal after scandal in the White House. Now I see that 20 states have petitions to secede from the Union and Texas and Louisiana are almost up to 25,000 signatures in which the White House will need to respond.

It's amazing what all is happening around me. It's like I've traveled back in time to the American Revolution. All the talk is about taxes and how they are drowning us. It's just amazing what people are doing and how many are standing up for themselves this time.

We've all heard of secession before but I feel like it's a little different this time.

Just maybe...

Long Days Ahead

I just realized that this is my last full week before I leave for Thanksgiving Break. It's amazing how time has flown. It only seemed like yesterday when Thanksgiving was more than 3 weeks away. It's starting to make me nervous since I have a paper I need to work on for my Cardio class. I have to present it as well.

Right now I'm studying from my Nutrition exam on Tuesday. I'm studying all the fat and water soluble vitamins and trying to memorize their functions, deficiencies, and toxicities. I think I got them all down. Then I have to learn everything about carbs and the TCA cycle and some other cycles.

I've been studying all morning and I'm about to head out to Wal-mart with my roommates. I need to get printer ink and that binder that I mentioned in my last post. Those things are at the top of my list! I think after I memorize the last of the vitamins I'm going to look over carbs then get started on my physics worksheet since that's due Wednesday.

But enough about my work at college.

I went to see the new James Bond movie yesterday and I would recommend it to anyone that likes action films. It was really good and it wasn't slow. I hate when movies have story lines that are really slow and drag on forever.

My ex is still bothering me. He texted me yesterday to see what I was up to. When I told him I was going to Kennesaw to see the movie he freaked out asking me "who? what? where? why?". It's really getting quite annoying. He wanted to know if my friend was a boy or a girl. What difference would it make? We're not together anymore so why does it matter??

He's acting so strange. It's really starting to irritate me. I just wish he's tell me the truth about how he feels and then get over it.

Exams, Trashion Shows, and Wicca

It's been such a rough week! Finally it's over with...for now. I have two exams coming up next week in the classes that I didn't take exams for this week. I feel like all the professors are trying to get their exams in before Thanksgiving break. My exams for next week are in my Animal Science Nutrition class and my dreaded Physics class. I still don't even know what I made on the second exam in there.

I'm desperately trying to keep my grades up and make A's and B's this semester but it's looking pretty bleak. I have a feeling that I'm at least going to come out with one C. It's either going to be in Physics or my Cardio/Hepatic/Pulmonary/Renal Physiology class. I sure hope I can make it out alive!

I need to do well on my next two Organic Chemistry exams. That class is suffering since I'm taking so much time for my other classes and not that one. I'm trying to be on the ball for it. I haven't failed any exams but I haven't done as well as I should have.

What I really need is a new binder right now so I can get everything organized again. Organization helps me focus on what needs to get done and right now my little 1 inch binder is about to burst! I need to get a 3 inch binder at the least for all my notes! A new binder wouldn't be that bad since the binder I've been using I've had since I was in high school.

I have a lot of things to do today. I just got done writing my notes for Cardio and I need to go get my laundry from upstairs and get that out of the way. I also need to go drop off supplies for EMPOWER so we can get started on our garment for the Trashion Show! I have tons of plastic bags and stuff. It would be cool if we could make some elegant prom dress out of them.

I'm also heading down to Kennesaw today to go watch the new James Bond movie with my friend. That will take up a lot of my time but hey, I should have some fun on my Saturday.

Next weekend is the first meeting for the Old Spirit Path Study Group and I need to start setting up for that. I'm excited and nervous about it since I'll be teaching these student the Wiccan Way. They're counting on me and so is everyone else! Wish me the best of luck!

Three Tests

I haven't had much time for blogging. Not that I've forgotten about writing but I've just been so busy with school and things. I have three tests coming up on Wednesday and a critical thinking assignment due Thursday along with a quiz. After Thursday I will finally be able to relax and will probably fall into bed around six in the evening and not move from the spot till Friday morning.

If you asked me what my confidence level was for each of my tests, cardio/hepatic/pulmoary/renal physiology, reproductive anatomy and physiology, and organic chemistry, I would say on a scale of 1-10, an 8. 6, and 4 respectively. I'm trying to bring those numbers up. I'm studying mostly for cardio because that 's my hardest class.

I'm sitting here in my bed right now staring at my new socks that I got a few days ago and all the while I have pulmonary edema, cardiac arrest, and gas exchange formulas dancing through my head. I wonder if I'll dream of all this stuff tonight.

I should probably take a break from cardio and move on to studying a bit for my repro. It couldn't hurt I guess. I'm running out of time fast so I'll have to make better updates later.

Making My Move

I've been very busy recently trying to figure everything out. My ex boyfriend decided to text me on Thursday night saying that I cheated on him. Apparently he thought we were still together but I don't see how he could have thought that considering that he refused to talk to me for a week and told me never to contact him again. It really ruined my whole night.

I was over him. I really was until he decided to pop back into my life and all those old feelings came rushing back. I asked him why he thought I had cheated on him and he said that his friend back in Pakistan told him that I would 6 months ago.

What the fuck?

This friend has never met me, never spoken to me, or anything and apparently he knows everything about me. What the fuck ever. My ex is such a dumbass for believing that shit. I mean really was he thrown at a wall when he was little or something?

I believe this is all just a ploy to try and get back with me or something or make me feel guilty about having a new found happiness with another person. I'm not really sure what his game is but I don't feel like playing it anymore. I want off this this ride. Roller coasters were never my thing in the first place.

He's been talking to me now. He's been saying things like I don't love you anymore and you're a cheater and blah, blah, blah. If he really thought that I was a cheater and didn't love me anymore then why did he contact me? I hadn't spoken to him in over a week and then he just pops up out of the blue. He's even blocked on some of the social networks that I use.

This is all just a huge game that he wants to play to make me bow down to him and take him back while trying to make it seem like he's the one taking me back. Oh no! We couldn't hurt his pride now could we? This is all just stupid. He's supposed to be 24 years old and is acting like a 16 year old. Well this is it. It's time to put my foot down and just stop the communication.

I deserve to be happy and he deserves his regret.